SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

After a string of flops, canceled films and desperate item numbers, Kareena Kapoor has been rewarded with a contract that makes her the highest paid Bollywood actress alongside Aishwarya Bachchan (Rai). She will be part of three films to be made by production house Shree Ashtavinayak Cine Vision and will reportedly earn 6 Crores from the deal.

Santabanta reports,

“If the amount reported is correct then this deal puts Kareena in the league of top Bollywood heroines with an acting fee approximating Rs. 2 crore per film. Only Aishwarya Rai is the other Bollywood actress who gets as much amount.”

That’s terrific! Is it just me or does Kareena look like a bad Paris Hilton impersonator? If a normal actor has a run of misses like this, they’d get shown the back door. But Kareena Kapoor gets a pay rise?

If you needed proof that life isn’t fair (Or that God hates you… whatever, both are applicable) than this is it.

Still though you have to admire Shree Ashtavinayak Cine Vision (whoever they are)… 6 Crore is a lot to guarantee that your film flops.

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Actor Shiney Ahuja has been linked to numerous co-stars, but his representative is quick to dismiss the rumours.

“Shiney is a happily married man with a beautiful wife. Such insinuations are nothing but a figment of over-active imagination,”

“Shiney has a huge female fan following. Whenever I travel with him in his car, I see quite a few attractive girls pointing at him, waving, smiling, and even getting off their vehicles on traffic signals and knocking on his car windowscreen for autographs.

They click his pictures on their mobile phones and want to touch him. Once, a girl after taking Shiney’s autograph, asked for a lift but was politely refused. Most of his co-stars are all praise for his super-cool demeanor.”

Yeah whatever, I don’t know why anyone would go gaga over Shiney…he looks scary when he smiles…like vampire scary -shudder-

I’m scared of vampires.

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Shah Rukh Khan has been the actor with the more or less same look for the last decade. The floppy hair that has way too much volume, the cute dimpled smile and the same ‘not fat but not fit either’ physique. We don’t know if Shah Rukh didn’t change it because he liked it or because he couldn’t come up with anything better.

But the new SRK doesn’t care about looking good anymore. The actor is past 40 and starting to show his age…lengthening his hair and making a ponytail does not make him look younger! And in the picture above…well, Shah Rukh seems to be morphing into a girl!

Stop growing your hair Shah Rukh! At least be cute again so my hate for you can be balanced out…now you’re just weird looking and annoying.

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There should be only one Shah Rukh Khan in the world, because there’s only so much bad acting the human population can take. But apparently, people want to make their own life-size Shah Rukh’s all over the world.

Shah Rukh has a statue of him in Madame Tussauds museum in London, and now he’ll be having another statue unveiled at the French Graven Museum in Paris.

SRK has been honoured earlier too by the French Government when he was given the title ‘Officier dans l’Ordre des Arts des Lettres (Officer of the order of Arts and Letters) due to his contribution to the development of Indo-French contribution in the field of cinema.

There’s too many SRKs! Stop making new ones!

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Why do they even call him a bad boy anymore? He hasn’t done anything bad for ages!

But Sallu seems to want to change that image, and not just by dating Katrina. The actor has started two foundations recently, The ‘Salman Khan Foundation’ and ‘Being Human’ that is aimed at caring for underprivileged children. And coolest thing? Salman says he won’t be begging money from anyone, but all the funds will come from his own pocket…whether it’s from appearing at more events or selling his paintings.

Salman has somethings to say about his costars:

Meanwhile Salman claims that he gets along with most of his male co-stars. Recently when asked if he would do a film with Abhishek Bachchan, Salman said “Why would I have a problem with Abhishek? However he definitely did not share the same feelings for actors John Abraham and Vivek Oberoi. On John Salman said “There is no equation, I don’t know that man.” And as for working with Vivek Oberoi in his trademark sarcastic style he said “Who’s that, Oh little Vivek, that idiot! Of course not.” Well something’s about Salman will never change, we guess.

Now that’s classic. I like Salman again.

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In an interview with the Times of India, perennial bachelor, Salman Khan, says he DOES one day plan to wed.

He says,

“The day I get married, or decide to, I will let the world know.”

When asked does he even intend to get married he says,

“Of course, I intend to get married, but it will happen only when it’s destined to. And I will celebrate the occasion with my friends, family and well-wishers. I won’t hide my marriage because I need people’s blessings and good wishes always .”

I guess it’s easier for guys. At 60 they’re still capable of having kids. Admittedly they’ll probably have a heart attack during the actual “process”… but they can still have kids.

UPDATE: I said “they’re” I meant “we’re”… Really

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Guys, run and hide, because if anyone is a man-eater, she surely is!

The actress has reportedly split from boyfriend Manav Menon (who by the way, left his own wife for Sushmita) as they have not been seen together for more than three months.

There’s been numerous reports about breaks in the relationship, but the actress did try and make the relationship work because of her adopted daughter Renee, who was close to Manav. Though Sushmita couldn’t have helped when she invited ex-flame Randeep Hooda to a birthday party for her thrown by Manav. Yes, the perfect way to cultivate a good relationship: Love, trust and intimate contact with you ex’s.

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I’m not sure how much Shilpa Shetty has studied, but if anyone argues, now she can always flash her new doctorate degree at them. Like an FBI agent. Shilpa Shetty, pointless doctorate holder.

Leeds Metropolitan University is presenting Shilpa with an honorary doctorate degree for…well, I’m not sure. Being called a ‘Paki’? Then why the hell am I studying? Someone, please racially abuse me so I can become a doctor (that’s what that degree does, right?). My dad would be so pleased.

Shilpa is the youngest Bollywood actress to receive that honour, after stars like Yash Chopra, Amitabh Bachchan and Shabani Azmi.

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Now with Bipasha Basu being unofficially single, the rumours are going to fly about her and her co-stars, especially Saif Ali Khan, after it was reported that in their new movie they had a steamy love making scene.

It was also said that the scene was SO steamy that they had to ask all the crew, besides the cameraman, cinematographer and the director to leave! Wow, that’s like me. I have to close my eyes when there’s a kiss on screen. That’s why I don’t watch bad movies, just the clean one’s, like Barney…that is a true piece of cinematic excellence!

Sources report that the stars were quite comfortable with each other (Well, why wouldn’t Bipasha be comfortable? She kisses any random rich guy that comes along!).

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Well, there isn’t really much good to show off in India, unless someone has a beggar fetish. Just joking…I can’t be so mean! And also, I’d loose most of my readership if I made fun of India. “Mera Bharat Mahaan!” (My India is the best!) Does that satisfy you?

Recently, the Taj Mahal was declared a wonder of the world…wasn’t it one already? And wasn’t that where Bipasha went to get away from John? Anyways, Salman Khan’s breakthrough in Hollywood has made him want to show his Marigold co-star Ali Larter around the place, but especially the Taj Mahal, which apparently she is dying to see.

“Salman likes taking care of his friends who come from abroad as it is part of our culture. Likewise, he has shown a keen desire to take Ali to Taj as per her wish,” says a Salman friend.

Whatever. Oh, and in case you totally didn’t notice, we have some new writers…they can’t make the cut elsewhere, so I had to let them come here.

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