SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Girls (and guys), Run for your lives! Well, I'm sure we've all seen Shah Rukh Khan's chest, especially since he seems to have a thing for see-through and wet shirts, but Shah Rukh will be taking his top off for his new film, though I think he did take it off for Paheli and Khabi Alvida Na Kehna. Shah Rukh wants to follow in the footsteps of Salman Khan and Khithik Roshan, so he's been working out to get a fit and lean body before the song is shot in August for his new film Om Shanti Om. Ummm, Shah Rukh's cute but I don't know if I want to see him with his shirt off. I think it might be mentally scarring, I think they might want to increase the ratings on that movie.

While other Bollywood actors are pledging to give up smoking (Saif, Shah Rukh, Preity), Rani just can't seem to give up the bad habit, because it...ahem, helps her bowel movement in the morning. Ok, that's disgusting, why would anyone want to report that? Why am I even writing about it? What's wrong with the world? The actress is reportedly pressured by her mum to give up and she pretends she has, but sneaks a cigarette in the bathroom every morning. Rani also keeps breath freshener and deodorant around her always, in case she needs to do a quick cover-up. Don't forget the hand-lotion Rani, fingers give away the smell really quickly. No I don't smoke, I'm just informed.

Except she has better manners than me and I suppose did it more nicely and tactfully. The actress is supposed to be trying to make things work with John Abraham, so she's removing any sources of tension. And since she can't kill Saif Ali Khan and Cristiano Ronaldo, she is doing her best to remove them from the picture. Bipasha Basu still sends home-cooked meals to John's sets and in new movie No Smoking, has asked pal Saif to pull out of a cameo that was planned, as it makes John uncomfortable. That's sweet that she wants to make the relationship work...it's like ripping someone's head off and the cooing and stroking it to try and make things all better.

Well, not really, but that was his gist. The actor is tired of rumours that say that he has problems with his co-stars.

"Look I was happy with what I got to do in Priyadarshan's Bhagam Bhag and Nikhil Advani's Salaam-e-Ishq. I don't know why people keep pitching me against my co-stars. This isn't helping my attempts to re-establish myself. They become very conscious of my presence. I made no efforts to steal the scene from anyone. "

Yeah people, leave Govinda alone. Now I wanna watch Partner, I hear it's supposed to be good. Govinda and Salman Khan did not fight there...end of story.

Ummm, how much slimmer did she want to be? Wow, Bollywood actresses are just insane. Anyways, the actress is playing a new kind of role in her new movie Heyy Babyy (by the way, which dyslexic freak wrote that?). While she usually plays good-girl roles, but this time she's going to be an unwed mother, who's child has three possible fathers (played by Ritiesh Deshmukh, Akshay Kumar and Fardeen Khan). Vidya's quite excited by her new western look and totally expected to look great in the movie after watching the shoot of the theme song, which included 15 actresses ranging from B to E list (E-list are the one's I haven't even heard about). Vidya also reveals her old self (why are celebrities always nerdy/unpopular/fat/etc before they became famous?) and reveals that she used to be overweight but the dream of being an actress kept her going:

"I used to be 20 kgs overweight. But I wanted to get into acting. That's when my confidence in doing what I believe in, helped me achieve what I wanted to. It was a terrific feeling." "It discouraged me to the extent that I started thinking of myself as ugly."

Don't worry Vidz, we all feel like that sometimes.

Maybe Amitabh Bachchan is tired of Shah Rukh Khan doing his roles in remakes (well, all I can think of is Don...oh, and Shah Rukh replaced Amitabh in Kaun Banega Crore Pati). Well, Amitabh won't take any more of it and has agreed to do Ram Gopal Verma's Time Machine, which was originally meant for Shah Rukh Khan but now has the Bachchan clan doing the movie. Ram Gopal Verma says:

"The kind of cinema I make is incompatible with Shah Rukh's image. I know he has a huge fan following among children and women who love his kind of films. And the film I planned is completely opposite of the image he has amongst his fans.. I would be a total mismatch with Shah Rukh."

Yeah whatever dude, we've all come to hate Shah Rukh after Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, I'm sure you couldn't make him worse. Anyways, Abhishek Bachcan and Aishwarya Rai have also signed on for the movie, with Ash replacing Kareena. Shah Rukh won't let the man keep him down though (the man being Amitabh) and since no-one wants him in a sci-fi film, he'll just make his own. So we will see Shah Rukh in spandex...I hope.

Priyanka Chopra is being considered to play the female lead in Hollywood producer and former tennis player Ashok Amritraj’s film. It appears the producer of movies like Raising Helen (crap) and Bringing down the house (more crap), is trying to find an Indian girl to play the part of… ummm… an Indian girl (I know… I was shocked too). The original storyline pairs the Indian girl with a WHITE guy (Still shocked)!!! However problems may arise due to Chopra’s schedule, as the film is expected to be shot in October, when Chopra will be busy. However no comment has so far come from either camp. … I don’t get these white and brown stories. Sure they might have been entertaining and shocking a 100 years ago, when farmers watched it as they whipped their 6 black slaves who were ploughing their fields… but now? Seriously if anyone has a problem with Inter-racial relationships in this day and age, you should probably just go into a quiet corner and slit your wrists… that or move to Texas. Whatever.

The above quote is in regards to the wife of her reported lover Raj Kundra. I’ll admit that some of the words in the above quote may have been lost in translation (Or changed by an unscrupulous reporter looking for visitors… whatever). After Kavita Kundra (What is it with Indians and Alliterations?) accused Shetty of being a homebreaker Shetty replied saying,

“After having been the subject of unwarranted media speculation in the past 48 hours, I feel the need to express my absolute shock at the way there is negative publicity…from someone called Kavita Kundra. I do know Raj Kundra as he was introduced to me three months ago regarding the perfume as he is a business associate. I met with Raj in the capacity of the perfume deal and we have had discussions and meetings regarding finalising the perfume S2 which released in stores earlier this month. My understanding is that Raj and Kavita's marriage was over a year ago and they have filed for divorce and have been living separately for over a year. I met Raj Kundra 3 months ago in a business capacity, so where the question of me breaking up her marriage arises this is impossible. “My culture and upbringing does not permit me to break marriages and I am the least interested in knowing or hearing anymore about her. If she continues to TARNISH my name out of any insecurity or otherwise, I will consider taking legal action as I see no reason why my name is being dragged into this mess."

You know, I COULD choose to believe Shilpa. But I won’t. Because it’s so much cooler to think famous people have no morals. What would I do, if all I heard was that after shooting her scenes for the day, Shilpa went home, did puja, took a bath and sat and talked to her parents until 11PM, before she massaged their feet until she went to sleep. It’s so much more exciting to think that Shilpa Shetty goes to nightclubs after shooting and picks up random married guys just to piss off their wives. Think of her as an Indian wife stealing superhero if you will.

Bollywood's latest darling, Amrita Rao, during an interview with... umm... no idea... it showed up on the santabanta website though... when asked about who she rates as the hottest guy in tinseltown replied,

Aamir (Khan) is my favourite. I think Hrithik (Roshan) is also perfect in terms of look, height and body.

Another interesting question was, who was her first crush? To which she replied,

During my school days, I used to like a cricketer. But now I feel too embarrassed to even take his name. He is out of the team now.

During my school days, I used to like a cricketer. But now I feel too embarrassed to even take his name. He is out of the team now.

Firstly... Amir Khan? Sure he used to good looking about 10-15 years ago, but now he's just... he's just... short. Secondly... cricketer crush? Indian cricketer? As far as my eye tells me, the only good looking cricketer in India is Dravid. The rest look like trolls or imps. Or their bodyguards. Whatever.

Kunal Kapoor (The guy from Rang De Basanti) says that he's in actuality a shy and reserved man, who hates to talk about his feelings or the people he's close to. So in place of that he writes poetry. He says,

"I find it very hard to talk about my relationships…That's where the poet in me surfaces. Poetry helps me to exteriorise my thoughts,"

Umm... yeah. Kunal, sorry to break it you yaar, but MOST guys find it difficult to speak about their relationships. Except they don't write poetry. They just break up as soon as it's time for the "talk". I'll admit though, that I find it exceedingly easy to talk about relationships. I'm all like, "Hey man, did you check the porn last night? Me and my hand had a great time!"