SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Saif Ali Khan has finally realised the harmful effects of smoking and says that he’s too smart to start smoking again. He seems to be embracing the changes that have come into his life recently. He lost his girlfriend Rosa and almost suffered a heart-attack from unhealthy habits. He’s planning to take things easy now as he doesn’t want to burn himself out. He’s taking Sundays off and doesn’t want to shoot on those days, already informing directors of this. He also plans to start working out again. Everyone wanna see the new-improved Saif? Go watch Ta Ra Rum Pum.

Malaika Arora Khan (who’s apparently one of Bollywood’s hottest babes…but to me, is Bollywood’s hottest Tranny…ok, I’m just being mean, she’s ok, but was man-looking in her item song in Kaal). The actress insists that she finds item numbers the best part of a movie and enjoys doing them (get happy, Kareena)

"They are the high points of a movie where the composition is given the best of everything – right from music, setting to actor's glamorous looks. I just enjoy doing every bit of it."

I’m afraid you’re wrong Malaika, item numbers are just the best because it’s an attempt to boost a movie from failure by throwing in a half-naked girl and a good song.

Hehehe...Isn't it always funny when you have a psycho running after a celebrity, thinking that their threats, obsessions etc actually mean something to them? Believe me, it doesn't. I've had this one guy annoying me for months! I've told him that I don't love him, but he just doesn't get it. Why do guys always do this to me?!? It isn't fair! It's not my fault I'm so sweet and charming and beautiful! -sniff- Anyways, Celina's been having a few problems of her own.

Lately Celina Jaitely felt the brunt of a crazy fan. She was bombarded with calls from different numbers. Some times he identified herself as a Yoga teacher, sometimes as her Driver. Though Celina ignored the calls and tried to avoid it, the man hounded her, according to sources close to her. Apparently the caller even abused her for not taking his calls.

Now, didn't I tell you guys that it wasn't fair that Kaun Banega Crore Pati only had famous people coming on, who didn't even need the money? Now it looks like something else dodgy was going on there... SantaBanta reports:

The Delhi High Court Friday directed the Monopolies and Restrictive Trade Practices Commission (MRTPC) to probe allegations of malpractices by producers of the popular "Kaun Banega Crorepati" (KBC) game show on Star TV. A division bench of Justices Vikramajit Sen and J.P. Singh said: "Keeping in view the contentions of the parties, importance and gravity of the allegations and larger interest of the general public, we deem it fit that the matter be referred to and investigated by the MRTPC, particularly its finances, chances of winning, element of allurement, misrepresentation, fraud and other related allegations."

Now I'm sure most of you are like me and can't make head or tails of this lawyer jargon, but basically, it's false advertising. People go crazy trying to get in on the show (which I'm sure runs on a hot-line that charges more than normal call rates making alot of crores for the show). Also, as per usual law, no-one may apply for the show if thy have an affiliation with producers or anyone else working on the show and if found guilty of this, their winnings can be confiscated and a fraud case can be opened. No-one on KBC is really paying attention to this and have a tendency to chose friends and family to come on the show. Yeah, so if you're the producer's brother's nieces dog...well, that's a bit vague, I guess you can get away with that.

Back to the bad, bad impressions that Indian's are giving of themselves, they can't seem to get over small, stupid incidences and seem to have the desire to draw them out for as long as possible, leading me to bang my hand against my monitor...and now I'm in a lot of pain because Indian's can't get over themselves. An Indian court warranted the arrest of Shilpa Shetty and Richard Gere, after finding them guilty of obscenity because Gere kissed Shilpa a few times on the cheek. If that's obscenity, then half the Indian actors out there should be in jail...dumbasses. Stop showing double-standards when there's people out there who want to help you, because when you really want help, no-one will come. It doesn't take a genius to work that out...or maybe it does...I have an IQ of 149...seriously. But Richard Gere (who has now left the country) apologises thus:

"What is most important to me is that my intentions as an HIV/AIDS advocate be made clear, and that my friends in India understand that it has never been, nor could it ever be, my intention to offend you,"

So, are you all happy? You got your stupid apology, now move on!

Aishwarya Rai has given up her name to become a Bachchan, quite a rare move with actresses who usually prefer to remain with their maiden names or just add their husband's name to theirs. But Aishwarya has decided that she wants to be a full-fledged Bachchan and will now be known as Aishwarya Bachchan. Aishwarya also seems to be doing the whole Indian-Bride thing by decided to live with her In-laws, rather than get her own place with husband Abhishek (what a cheapskate...living off her In-Laws...so sad). Her In-Laws declare that they are quite at ease with Aishwarya continueing her acting career and encourage her to do so, rather than step back as Jaya Bachchan did when she got married to Amitabh. So Aishwarya is taking full advantage of marrying into the Bachchan's. I don't know if that will save her career, but she can try. (No-one make fun of my writing...No-one!...I said DON'T)

Amitabh Bachchan is quite pissed off that wedding pictures leaked out soon after the wedding of his son Abhishek to former-Miss World Aishwarya Rai. The wedding was supposed to be a private affair, with only close friends, family and a few nieghbours invited. Only one media source was supposed to take pictures of the event, but some unscrupulous (and totally cool) guest took photo's with a camera phone and distributed them over the net...ahem, I mean, he sent them to his sister but they were intercepted. I got some in my email from some unscrupulous friends...hehe, thanks guys!

"Some of the people who came to the wedding surreptitiously took photographs with their mobile cameras and disgracefully put them on the net." 'In fact, I have caught a person who took the photographs. He's my neighbour. I have had a very serious talk with him and he has apologised profusely. He says he wasn't giving it to the press. While he was sending the pictures to his sister in the US they got intercepted on the net,"

Poor Amitabh...you poor rich crore pati...did it annoy you that someone took some pictures? You should be used to it by now. And Duh that your nieghbour took pictures...he must have been paid for them. A much better deal than going to your son's crummy wedding. Seriously, what sounds better: "I went to Abhishek's wedding" or "I got 50 000 rupees to take pictures at Abhishek's Wedding"?

Exciting, hey? Makes me wanna pee, it's THAT cool. But Suzanne Roshan (wife of more famous Hrithik) and Twinkle Khanna (wife of more famous Akshay Kumar and daughter of Dimple Kapadia) are now known as the best designers in the Bollywood industry and after designing a home for Rani Mukerji, now have their next victim client: Priyanka Chopra. Priyanka is very excited by it all, and is giving her advice and input about how she wants her new home in Versova to look. You know, I design houses too...my Barbie was the most glamourous Barbie of all because I designed her house. There was a room made out of chocolate...and one full of bubbles...and one full of guns that she could use to shoot the prettier Barbies. Aaah, the good old innocent days of childhood

Ok, just a quick post today, because I'm gonna be pasted in front of the TV today, watching SA get their ass's kicked by Australia, but I support them anyways. Go SA!!! But anyways, Shilpa Shetty has bought an ultra-expensive house in London's exclusive Primrose Hill (sounds like something from a Enid Blyton book). The house costs 28 million rupees...I don't know what's that in dollars, but it must be alot. She was advised to buy a place in London because that way, she could hide from all the crazy Indians...ok, that's not why. But since Shilpa is more popular in the Uk then in India, and has lots of lucrative offers coming in, she's decided to buy a place over there.

Yes everyone, your worst nightmare is back and I'm going to make fun of Kareena...again. C'mon, I know you all love her, but she just gives me reasons to make fun of her. You've all watched her 'It's Rocking', great song, really. Kareena is meant to play herself in the song, but when asked about it, and what contribution she makes to the role, she says:

"I told Lovely that I would not go overboard on the glamour front with any itsy-bitsy costumes. It was my idea to perform in jeans and gorgeous gowns.

Hahaha, I'll tell you what happened. She couldn't get into any of the itsy-bitsy costumes, so she muttered to the director "Ummm...could I get something in a bigger size? No? Could I just wear jeans then? Ok, cool." When asked about how she kept in shape, she said that she had become a vegetarian because of Shahid Kapoor. How boring... Now I'm expecting a lot of swearing guys, don't disappoint me!