SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

Well, that's what they hope to do by Amitabh Bachchan appearing on the final episode of Kaun Banega Crore Pati, after SRK's takeover from the show that has always had Amitabh Bachchan as the head honcho. Rumours after Amitabh's replacement claimed that SRK and Big B shared quite alot of animosity and their ego's clashed as the young and old Kings of Bollywood. But after Shah Rukh's latest episode, hopefully the media frenzy will die down and people will see that there's nothing amiss between the two superstars.

Enthuses Shailaja Kejriwal, Star's programming head, "The two shared a great camaraderie on the sets of KBC. Both of them knew the format well, and would joke around like two old college buddies." Reveals SRK, "Now, will everyone believe that we're friends? We've even discussed doing a sequel to my Don. Impatient as I am, I just can't wait to finalise Don II. Just wait and watch, we'll rock the world together!"

Sounds sweet, right? I'm sure the two really are great friends...pictures like the one above really don't help, damn these journalists. I know some of us are cute but no-on should be allowed to get away with humour like that!

Preity really must have a good heart, since she seems to want to take ugly or below-average men under her wing. Preity's latest charity project...excuse me, conquest, is director Shekhar Kapur...or at least, that's what his wife says. Shekhar and his wife Suchitra Krishnamoorthy, recently divorced and she, instead of blaming the failure of the marraige on herself like a good little Indian wife, she had the audacity to say that her marraige crumbled because of her husband's involvement with Priety Zinta. :-O Ok, ok, let's stop blaming Suchitra, she's already down as it is and in a recent interview said she had been contemplating suicide. Buck up Woman! Your husband is a man-whore, doesn't mean you should blame yourself...The thing is, as much as I want to belive the woman, she never actually confesses that she got 100% confirmation that her husband cheated with Preity. At times it seems like she's just pulling a publicity stunt and is trying to get as much money out of her divorce as possible. For example, in a divorce settlement, if a husband is found guilty of cheating, I'm pretty sure that he'd have to pay his wife more and also, she's writing a book. What better way to get publicity and increase sales than to malign a top actress? Whatever, all of you suck!

Ok, so I got bored of my last theme and Bomberboy said it looked like a website of Satan worshippers...and since I'm a strictly non-practicing Satanist, I had to change it. I hope you like it, I'm still trying to sort it out, so if you see anything wierd for the next few days, please ignore it. Happy Reading Tigger

Kind-of an old story, but I really didn’t wanna write bout Amitabh/Abhishek/Ash, which seems to be the Bollywood news dominating the airwaves. Yeah, they’re getting married, yeah, Ash had to marry a tree, yeah, they’re the most boring couple out there, but frankly my Dear, I don’t give a damn. Onwards to more interesting and shallow couples. It’s well documented that Kareena Kapoor never got on with Bipasha Basu, and she and her sister frequently called her a “kalli billi” (Black Cat) and she has now drawn her boyfriend Shahid Kapoor into her little cat-fights by calling Bip’s boyfriend John Abraham an “Expressionless” actor and prompting Shahid to say that Kareena would never work with John in a movie. As much as I love Shahid and hate Kareena, I have to poke fun of them here. Bipasha Basu has embraced her complexion and has left Kareena in the dust. Kareena, what’s the point of being a fair b---- when you can’t act for toffee? And Shahid, cute as you are, John is hot…though I’d say they’re about equal in acting skills. He’s older than you, show some respect!

Before the Cricket World Cup 2007 and India’s first round exit (hee-hee…oh wait, I mean “Aw, Shame, Poor useless India…hehe”), Bollywood feared that movie sales and releases would be in peril with Indian’s all planted in front of their TV’s to see the magic of Sehwag and Tendulker. Now these fears are gone, as India’s exit in the group stages have sent people right back into the cinema’s to watch the latest Bollywood offerings. Audiences have increased for Namastey London, Traffic Signal and Honeymoon Travel Pvt Ltd, meaning that Indian’s are slowly forgetting the anguish and humiliation of the Cricket World Cup and have moved on to see the latest from Abhishek Bachchan (hottie! Not). So every cloud does have a silver lining…or in this case, a glittery, neon lining, but same difference. Viva Bollywood!

Akshay Kumar is furious at UK tabloid News of the World about reporting about his previous affair with Shilpa Shetty (I wrote about it a few days back). He says that he would have never spoken about Shilpa like that, and Shilpa seems to be an agreement, saying that she’s ignoring the reports because she knew Akshay would never talk about stuff like that with the press. So livid Akshay is going to sue News of the World for writing such crap. But Akshay doesn’t seem to get it, crap is funny and it sells. Hearing about stars meaningless lives and the things that they get up to is entertainment for may people out there! Why do you think I’m writing this? I think I’ll be making up a rumour soon.

The Bollywood Awards happening in New York on May 26 this year will be sponsored by retail giants Wal-Mart. The winners of certain categories will be chosen by the South-Asian community settles abroad. The whole point of the sponsorship is to show Wal-Mart’s commitment to diversity as it appeals to its Asian/Indian customers. Yeah, I don’t know how Wal-Mart is going to fit into the glitz and glamour of Bollywood, because their idea of a classy night is one that involves their housebrand champagne…More fizz for less cents…yeah, I have no idea if that’s real or not, but let’s just assume I’m queen of Wal-Mart and what I say, goes. Now go bring me some 50% off potato crisps!

The point of gym is to get fit, lose wieght or build muscles, am I correct? Hmmm, so I guess Tusshar Kapoor, Ritesh Deshmukh and Zayed Khan are doing it all wrong, because they all look the same to me...or maybe they're genetically fat and gym makes sure that they all stay scrawny? Anyways, Tusshar is still in Cape Town, South Africa and was desperately looking for a gym. The lucky guy managed to find a gym nearby his villa and inevitably meets up with Zayed and Ritesh there, who are filming for their movie Cash while Tusshar shoots Kya Love Story Hai. You know what's a really fun thing to do at gym? Run on the treadmill like crazy and when you're completely exhuasted, increase the work level. Maybe it hurts when you fall off, but it has great comedic value!

When I used to like Shah Rukh Khan, I enjoyed writing about him, but now that he's lost all my respect (Though I'm sure that makes so much difference to him -roll eyes-) I don't even enjoy making fun of him, he's such an idiot. Anyways -deep breath- here goes, Shah Rukh Khan has finished recording his first season of Kaun Banega Crore Pati and he talks about what a great experience it was and how he's slowly become more comfortable in the role of anchor. He also says this might improve his acting...yeah, then maybe you'll stop hamming it up SRK! Shaking like you have Parkinson's is not proof of intense emotion, it's the proof of the inability to act. You know I cry when I see you act? That's real tears of laughter and that's real acting for you...learn.

Once again, I don't know how accurate these reports are, but let's just assume they're the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The Hindustan Times reports:

The much-awaited wedding of Bollywood couple Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai will likely take place on April 20 and will be a small family affair. "The families met and the decision was taken the previous day. The wedding will be a small private affair with only close family and friends in attendance and it will be held at the Bachchan's residence in suburban Juhu," a source said in Mumbai. Media speculation on the wedding date has been high ever since the couple got engaged on January 14.

As you can see, I'm pretty lazy today and I'm not in the mood to paraphrase what everyone has to say. But I'm gonna try and be witty instead...ummm...so Ash and Abhi...they're so funny...she's older than him, did you know? Ok, that isn't very funny...damn.