SoggyCornflakes - Bollywood

In Bollywood news today…

Salman is unlucky in love…You know why? Because he has a bloody naval piercing! Which chick in her right mind would go for that? And also, his current girlfriend Katrina Kaif is half his age! And as far as I know, she doesn’t have a bellybutton ring…tell me Salman, who wears the pants in your relationship?

India’s attempt at Big Brother (“Bigg Boss”) blows…mainly because it has no sex. Seriously, how can you have a reality TV show without sex? But then if they put sex in, then there would be mass uprisings, because Indian people pretend that they don’t like sex…but they do, that’s why they won’t watch the show. So make up your mind you lot! Do you want sex or do you want a show(s) where the main attraction is the “Buhu” (Daughter-in-law) trying to get her “Saas” (Mother-in-law), and vice versa?

Apparently, animals are not being treated well in India…ummmm, can anyone say “Duh”? Animal Rights groups are having little hissy fits all over the place because animals are used in the filming of the new Hrithik and Ash movie “Jodha-Akbar”, and they say they’re treated cruelly. Bugger off you wankers!!! At least those animals are in a movie with Ash and Hrithik! Lucky things…wish I was them…they get to go home and say “I was in a movie with Hrithik…he sat on me…I farted on Aishwarya’s face” Seriously, how cool is that? If you really want to save some animals, go help those poor monkeys in tutus dancing in the alley-ways…that’s real exploitation right there!

Finally, India’s biggest faggot-who-won’t-admit-it a.k.a. Karan Johar is making an animation film. Ummm, yeah, I could give you his quote, but I don’t want you to get gay-cooties…so thank me!